Oh Christmas Tree

This year has been a crazy blur for me. Since Christmas, my husband and I have both been sick several times: flu, upper respiratory infection, allergies, sinus infection. You name it; we've had it. Add to that N starting a new job and me trying to get all the new wrinkles in testing ironed out, a weekend visit from a niece, Valentine's day, N's birthday, finding a life group, getting involved in new things at church...we've been busy.

In the midst of all the craziness, my Christmas decorations somehow got overlooked. I must confess that my tree is still up and the stockings are still hung with care. The lights on the tree are plugged into a switch that I turn on every day when I get home. People driving by in the evenings can still see the warm glow of our lights through the front window.

I was thinking about it this week because a friend stopped by and commented on the feel of Christmas in the air in our home. So I was looking at my tree, which is decorated with a cowboy theme, and decided that it isn't Christmasy at all. It's a Cowboy Tree. It's decorative. It's all part of the home decor master plan. It could stay up year round.

I figure if the husband and dog are happy and healthy, who cares about a little extra twinkling in the living room. It's mood lighting. And it may or may not come down over Spring Break.

Journeys

A little over two years ago, my husband and I began the painful process of looking for a new church. I say painful because it was hard to leave the one we belonged to because they are family. We love them and feel no ill will toward them, but we knew that for our own spiritual growth we needed to do something different. (BTW, I think it SHOULD be somewhat painful to leave a congregation. When you invest so much of yourself, you should expect some pain if you leave. I think it helps keep people from constantly being church hoppers…but I digress.)

We started visiting the local churches of Christ but didn’t really find a good fit. Eventually, we ended up visiting a church in another community that we had originally not intended to visit for that very reason; it was in another community. There were a lot of good things going on there, and we have family there, so we stepped easily into relationship with them. We ended up being there for 8 or 9 months. We were working in the sound room and attending regularly, but we hesitated to place membership because it just didn’t feel like home. We hated to leave family, but needed to see if we could find what was missing.

Eventually, we started looking again. By this time, we were really tired and frustrated. I don’t think that our expectation was to find a perfect church. We knew that didn’t exist. But what we were really craving was a church that had a clear vision of where they were going and friendly enough to let us in on the journey. I think that some of our friends thought we were being unreasonable or not trying hard enough to fit in, but the truth is, we knew what we were looking for and also knew we hadn’t found it yet. I began to wonder if we ever would.

So, we pulled out the phone book and started down the list. What an interesting and varied couple of months we had. Except for the congregations that have bilingual services, we visited every church of Christ on the list that we hadn’t already been to and a few that were in the non-denominational section. We met many nice people, most 30-50 years older than us, but sweet nonetheless. We met some ladies who still cover their heads in worship and who were quick to let me know that it was ok with them that I wore pants. They didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable. I didn’t, and I’m very sorry I made them feel that way. We found one unexpectedly young and friendly place, but they didn’t have any clear leadership which was important to us. We also discovered that there are about 8 small c of C’s in about a mile radius from our house. Who knew?

N and I grew up in church. Our parents were actively involved and so were we. When we married, we continued to be. So by this time we were feeling particularly forlorn. Homeless even. We decided to go back and revisit some of the larger congregations that we had previously discounted because of their size.

In November, we ended up visiting Southwest. The preaching blew us away. Brian is a great speaker, but what compelled me was not the eloquence of his sermons but the challenge of them. Every week, I left feeling revitalized. I began to long for the Word again, to be fed not just from the pulpit but outside the building. I wanted to be better, more like Christ.

And at some point, I began to realize that my desire to be more Christ-like was indeed their vision. Brian talked about it from the pulpit all the time – discipleship, getting into intimate community and relationship with one another in order to be more like Jesus.

In December, they had a special Holiday Happenings service on one Sunday evening. Brian talked about the Word being alive in our lives, and we sang the song The Word is Alive by Casting Crowns. Then he had the elders and their wives move to different stations in the auditorium that had signs such as - The Word is alive in my marriage. The Word is alive in my job. The Word is alive in my family.

Then, he challenged us to go to one of the various places and share with the elders (and wives) our needs, and they would pray for us. They played music quietly in the background and gave us about 20 minutes for this activity.

Well, this was definitely a new experience for us. But I was ready. We went to a station and talked with the couple for a few minutes, and then we huddled and prayed. By the end I was absolutely sobbing. We had to step out so I could pull myself together. In my memory, the only time any elders ever prayed for me or my family was when my dad was dying of cancer. I was really moved and began to think that something really special was going on here.

Since then we have continued to experience a leadership of elders and ministers who are all deeply and personally committed to the spiritual growth of every individual in the congregation. They are more than just a board of directors; they are shepherds. We finally placed membership a few weeks ago and really feel connected for the first time in a long time.

This whole process was extremely long and difficult, but God has been faithful. I believe that He has brought us to just the right place at just the right time. I know that this congregation is not without flaws, after all, it is made up of flawed human beings, just like us.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit of our journey. We are really excited to see where this new journey will take us and what God has in store. God has already been working on us and showing us time and again how faithful He is. But that is a story (or two) for another time.

Season Opener

First of all, it's good to be back on. Apparently, my computer caught the flu from me...or something like that. My husband, myself, and my computer have all been sick. Once N and I were back on our feet, he was able to take a look at my computer. Sleeping with a computer guy definitely has its advantages.

Anyway, today marks the opening of testing season for me. My first big training of the year was this morning. I'd been working to prepare for this training and our first testing session for weeks as there are a number of new policies. And of course, I had to come up with procedures for how we'd implement the policies along with some handy dandy checklists. I'm a little over the top OCD about my testing day procedures and making sure things go smoothly. I guess signing on the dotted line for an entire campus will do that to you. I'd kind of like to keep my licenses, certifications, and job.

I just have to share two really awesome things that happened though. First, every person who was supposed to be at training, nearly forty people, was present and on time. And by on time, I mean they had their folders in hand, they had their food (I provided breakfast), they had Route 44's of caffeine, they had signed in, and they were looking at me with these faces that said, "teach me." Seriously. I was blown away. That has never happened before in the history of my TAKS trainings. The gentle reminder notes from me and somewhat stronger worded reminders from my principal paid off.

So I was just about to start off by telling everyone to hold their questions until the end when I see a teacher waving at me. At first I thought it was just a friendly, "you'll do great" kind of wave. But when she didn't stop, I acknowledged her. She proceeded to tell me that her science team traditionally starts their collaboration time out with a prayer. And since we were technically training during collaboration, would it be OK if we started with a prayer.

Of course I said, "absolutely". So, she started us with a prayer that was beautifully worded especially asking a blessing for me, our kids, and for our campus to remember that there is more to life than testing. It was really precious. I had to take some deep breaths to keep from starting the training out in tears. I just can't tell you how awesome that was; it set just the right tone for the entire training.

And what a blessing to work in a place where prayer is acceptable and welcome. It was a nice reminder of how good I have it...in spite of it being testing season.

Tattletale

A few weeks ago, my principal made an announcement at school about an incident that had happened that morning on the bus. Apparently, a student opened the window on a bus and dropped a lead pipe out into traffic. The pipe hit a car and did several thousand dollars worth of damage. Our principal was appealing to our students to come forward and report any information that might be useful in tracking down the guilty parties.

I was sitting in the foyer of the counseling center when the announcement was made, and about five seconds after he finished speaking, a whole group of kids came flying around the corner in a race to the front office. I just had to laugh, because only in a school of fifth and sixth graders would a group storm to the principal to be first in line to tattle.

I thought about this incident last night at church while we were studying the 32nd Psalm. In the first five verses, David shows the juxtaposition of confessing sin versus not confessing sin.

1Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 2Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.

3When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. 5Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"--and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

I got to thinking that maybe I should be more childlike in my confession of sin. Instead of putting it off, ignoring it, or otherwise allowing sin to sap my strength, I should race to the Lord to tattle on myself just as soon as I hear His voice convicting me. He offers thirst-quenching forgiveness. What's not to like about that?

I think I'm going to try and be a better tattletale. I do, after all, have fantastic models of this daily. Perhaps each time one of them tattles to me, I will be prompted to offer up my own tales.

Give Me A Break

Everyday from 11:20 a.m. until 11:55 a.m. I have the pleasure of break duty. This duty requires me to go outside with about 75-100 ten, eleven, and twelve year olds and monitor their break time. Of course it's just another word for recess, but for some reason, my principal thought it would sound more grown up for an intermediate school to have "break" instead of "recess."

Most days, it is an enjoyable break for me too. I get to breathe some fresh air, see the sun, and interact with some pretty sweet kids in a very relaxed atmosphere. Additionally, as a counselor who often deals with their social skills issues, it's pretty insightful to me to see them in their natural habitat interacting with others. Sometimes, it's pure comic relief to see the creative things they will come up with to do, like play football with a tennis shoe or see how many people can fit in one coat.

Occasionally, like today, we have to stay inside for break because it is too cold, rainy, windy, etc. These are the days I dread.

Imagine two adults in one half of a gym (PE is still happening on the other side) with 75-100 kids. Some of the kids are playing knockout at three goals or sitting on the sidelines and visiting with friends...their two official options. Add to that pairs of chasers and chasees pinballing through the knockout lines and over their sideline friends.

And then picture huddles of girls pretending to be in line but actually planning their strategy to attract the huddles of boys across the way who are pushing and shoving each other in order to impress previously mentioned girls. It's like a show on the Discovery channel...Games Girls Play: Prepubescent Mating Rituals and The Exciting World of Flirtation and Budding Love.

And lets not forget the tattlers. They're like gnats that buzz around me in a cloud. As soon as one is swatted away, another is there to take his place.

I am a rule follower by nature. I like order and organization. I like to peruse the school supply and home organization aisles of WalMart to see what's new...

Inside break makes me downright twitchy. If I were sitting, I'd probably be up against the gym wall, rocking and banging my head.

So today, to while away the time (in between yelling in my bull horn to put out fires), I amused myself by coming up with all the things I'd rather do than Inside Break.

1. Do five loads of laundry - all white socks.
2. Reread the TAKS Testing Coordinator Manual.
3. Teach calculus for an entire day.
4. Explain to 10 moms how their child could be making all A's and B's and still fail the TAKS test.
5. Listen to 7 teachers complain about curriculum and the administration.
6. Clean the boys restrooms in the 6th grade hall. Eeeks
7. Attend 5 ARD meetings with chatty parents and teachers back to back.
8. Teach 10 kids how to give "I" messages...I feel_______when____. I would like_____.
9. Listen to 25 kids in resource reading do a timed reading.
10.Counsel 5 ten year old girls in my office at once....Now that is desperate.

Superhero Dreams

If I were a superhero, my name would be Polly Positive. I wouldn't bother with a cape or utility belt, but I'd never be without my Enthusiasm Socks. I'd fly to the rescue of those in the pit of despair. I'd equip them with magic red socks of their own that would give them supernatural hopefulness. And together, we would stomp out the enemy.


Negativity

A soul siphoning succubus,
She infiltrates with stealth.

Camouflaged as humor,
realism, the Devil’s advocate -
She paralyzes the positive
like the proverbial frog in the pot.

She was conceived by fear,
nurtured by doubt,
and brought to life by Choice-

Her legacy is passed
in whispers, rolling eyes,
and martyred sighs.

Only Choice can destroy Her.

Deliverance from the Lord of the Rings

On Sunday I heard a really convicting sermon on God’s Deliverance. The series is taken from Exodus, and the text for this week was Exodus 5-15, God’s deliverance of the Israelites, Moses, the plagues, etc. The application had to do with God’s ability to deliver us from whatever that might be enslaving us…sin, doubt, selfishness, pride, materialism, etc.

The whole sermon has really stuck with me, but the verses I find so powerful are Exodus 14:13-14. “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.’”

So tonight, my husband and I were watching the last installment in our Tolkien-athon, and I slipped into my “former English teacher analyzing the movie” mode. I was thinking about how Sam is the true hero and also more of the Christ figure in some ways than Frodo. And that lead me to thoughts about Frodo representing man and the burden of sin (the ring) that we carry around. The longer we hold onto it, the more it weighs us down and captures our mind, etc.

When Frodo finally reaches the volcano in Mordor where he has journeyed so long to leave the ring, he can’t seem to let go. Again, I thought about sin and how difficult it can be to let go. It’s like we fall in love with it just a little bit, and it becomes our Precious. Even though it is dragging us down, wearing us out, and ultimately leading us to a fiery death, we hold on.

And again, I think about what Moses said to the Israelites, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm…The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” We need only to be still and let it go, “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin – because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.”

I’m going to try to do this a little more and see if I can avoid having a finger gnawed off.