SOS!

I need help.   Being a stepmom in a blended family is absolutely the hardest role I’ve ever tackled.  I drove to Dallas this weekend to attend the Sisterhood of Stepmoms Retreat looking for help.  I figured a group called SOS ought to understand my desperate need for a life saver.

I was not disappointed.  The Sisterhood was started by Laura Petherbridge, co-author with Ron Deal of The Smart Stepmom.  She and the other ladies brought years and years of experience, wisdom, and Godly principles to the table for the nearly 100 fellow stepmoms desperately thrashing about in the tumultuous stepmom waters crying for help.

I have been extremely blessed with my Stepmom Sponsor, Peggy, this past year, but I was hoping to get connected with other stepmoms on the journey as well.  With Dallas as the location, I thought finding connections in the Houston area would be easy.  It wasn’t.

By Saturday afternoon, I’d connected with several ladies from Oklahoma, and one special gal from Dallas, but no one from the Houston area. 

The second to last session I wanted to attend made me fairly nervous. It was a special breakout session for stepmoms who did not have children of their own.   This is a very tender spot for me, and I almost chickened out because of a desire to avoid what I knew would be a painful subject.

Sure enough, my heart broke listening to the stories and thinking about my own situation.  The tears poured down.  Laura’s story hit me especially hard as she shared her own struggles with the reality of not having children to take care of her someday as she gets older. This is a fear I’ve had for years.  While no parent really wants her children to have to take care of her, there is comfort in knowing you have children who would.  I don’t have that.  Laura reminded me that the Spirit who has been my comforter for the first 41 years of my life isn’t going anywhere.

As I stood up to leave from the session, a lady at a table in front of me stood up and turned around.  Our eyes met.  She was crying the same tears as me.  Our gaze held for a moment, and I considered speaking to her.  Because I knew in that pregnant pause that she got me.

But the moment passed.  I turned and walked away trying to gather myself on the walk downstairs before the final session of the day, on prayer.

The final session closed with a song and an opportunity to journal a prayer.  I sat quietly, fighting tears, not writing.  I listened to the song without words of my own.  All kinds of emotions swirled through me as my heart cried out to God.  It is in moments like these when I am grateful for a Holy Spirit who knows my heart and speaks to God on my behalf.

I left that session exhausted and a little discouraged that I hadn’t met anyone from the Houston area.  I texted Matt about the possibility of coming home early.  His response, “Why would you want to come home?  Why don’t you spend the time up there and network with others?  I miss you too, but I would hate for you to miss out on a possible opportunity.  Do you want to call me?”

So I called him.  And I shared and cried and eventually felt better.  And I stayed.

As I was walking past the pool to dinner, I heard someone call my name.  I turned to see Stephanie from Dallas waving me over.  She was so excited to introduce me to Brenda.  From Houston.  The same lady I’d locked eyes with earlier.  The one I was sure would get me.

The rest of the evening the three of us visited and got to know each other.  Brenda mentioned that when we had shared that teary eye contact earlier, she had wanted to speak to me too.  During the last session, she had journaled a prayer asking God to connect her with someone in the Houston area.

God tossed me a lifeline this weekend, and I finally swam out to grab it.  As I pack up to head home, I am renewed in heart, refreshed in spirit, and reminded of God’s faithfulness.