Challenge the System

In counseling, sometimes the best way to promote change is to challenge the beliefs of the system.  I’ve been challenging my own system lately.  And while I may be a family of one, I still operate with a system of beliefs that have been shaped by other systems I’ve belonged to over the years.

When you are young, asking “why” is acceptable and normal, though occasionally annoying to those whom you are constantly asking.  But some people, lots of people really, slowly quit asking that question.  There are all sorts of reasons to quit asking…you think you know all the whys, or you just want to keep peace, or you don’t want to make waves, or you don’t want to be made fun of, or maybe you grow tired of the answer.  But for me, challenging the system often involves asking “why?”. 

I challenge other people all the time.  I’m a counselor.  It’s what I do.  Listen and challenge.  In the last couple of years, I’ve started listening and challenging myself.  Asking why.

Last week I was putting some dirty dishes in the dishwasher and thinking about how I would have to wash my breakfast dishes the next morning.  I fix my instant oatmeal in these plastic cups that are the perfect size for microwaving without bubbling over.  But I only have three of them.  And what I do is use the three, then wash one a couple of times by hand.  For some reason last week I stopped and asked myself why I didn’t just run the dishwasher.

I thought about it, and the reason is because…you don’t run the dishwasher until it’s full.  Well, in my home, that takes a week.  But I need those cups after three days.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was ridiculous for me to wait a week to run the dishwasher.  If the dishwasher’s job is to wash my dishes…why not let it?  Pretty dumb huh…

Not running the dishwasher until it’s full makes great sense in a big family when you go through dishes quickly.  Fill that sucker up!  But for me, it makes no sense at all.  So…I ran the dishwasher half full.  And the earth did NOT fall out of its orbit.  Nor did the ground crack open and swallow me up.  But the next morning, I had a clean cup for my oatmeal.

At this point you might be wondering what the big deal is.  Well, changing my dishwashing pattern is actually not that big of a deal.  But the idea of questioning how you do things…I think that is big. 

So often, we get stuck in patterns of living and functioning and continue in them because it’s how we’ve always done it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for routine and tradition.  But I think that an occasional “Why?”, is healthy.