Tuesday, November 1, 2011

You Matter

I was blessed to receive tons of birthday wishes today.  From people I’m close to and people who are more acquaintance than friend.  But it mattered.

Four or five years ago, I had a 5th grade boy in my office.  My phone rang, and I ignored it.  He wanted to know why I wasn’t answering.  I told him he was more important than that phone call.  He was stunned.  It mattered.

A friend of mine who lives far away, “pokes” me on Facebook every time she is on.  It matters to me.

One of the other counselors at my school has this goofy student who comes by several times a day just to say hello.  She always acknowledges him, even if it is just a smile or wave.  It matters.

There are countless ways that I am affirmed on a daily basis of the importance of my existence.  Today’s unusual abundance of those acknowledgments has had me thinking about it.  I am so incredibly blessed to have so many family members and friends who care about me.  And that matters.

I am frequently stunned at the number of people who go through life not knowing whether their existence even matters.  Kids.  Spouses.  Employees.  Employers.  Parents.  Neglected and wondering if their absence would even register to those they interact with on a daily basis. 

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life, both in counseling and in my personal life, is of people’s basic need to matter.  To be noticed.  Acknowledged.  Valued.

And providing that kind of feedback can be so incredibly simple.  A smile.  A hug.  A nod.  A pat.  A nudge.  A “hello”.  A wink.  A wave.  An ignored call or text.  A pause to listen.  All so incredibly simple.  But so very important. 

There are so many people in my life who can easily go unnoticed.  People who provide me services and luxuries.  People who just happen to cross my path.  The manicure ladies.  My hair stylist.  The guy who bags my groceries.  The oil change people.  My secretaries.  The receptionist.  The custodians.  The apartment maintenance people.  Students in the hall I don’t even know. 

Today, more than usual, I know I matter to others.  And I’m reminded of how very simple it is to return that favor.  Not everyone has the kind of friends and family I do.

3 comments:

A Tale of Two Cities said...

You are a blessing to so many. Thanks for the reminder to make a difference in others' lives?

And Happy Birthday!!!

Anonymous said...

When I am at my lowest, this is the argument I have with God, except mine includes an expletive ("Nobody gives a ****. Why not... take those pills... drive into that overpass..."). It feels *really* good when people take a moment to make sure you know that you matter to them. My husband has done this hundreds of times, and he's saved my life by saying it in those moments. It really does make a difference. Thank you for doing this for others in your life, too. That kid's life is that much better because he mattered to you. Wow. Thank you for sharing this.

Cristy said...

Phooey. That "Anon" comment was me. No idea why it didn't register correctly. Sorry about that! Some random person talking about deep stuff on your blog... :)