Mom bought Ipad
Won that round.
With trampoline
Dad gains ground.
Easy Bake
Brought a grin,
But homemade cookies
For the win.
Mom’s attention
To herself.
Daddy’s shared
With someone else.
Tooth fairy mom
Gives a ten.
Tooth fairy dad
Ones again.
Vacation time
Which is best?
Local trips
Or Disney fest?
Edging closer
Mom bought phone.
Daddy’s lead
Swiftly blown.
Always tracking
Keeping score.
Stressing presents
Who spent more?
Feels like love’s
A competition.
Isn’t that
A contradiction?
Constant stressing
About the plan.
Good enough?
Or lesser than?
Throw in towel
I give up.
I can’t compete
To win your love.
Even when we
Aren’t the loser
Always fear that
She will choose her.
You can say all you want to that it’s not a competition, but
until you’ve been on this field, you cannot fully comprehend the pull of the
game. When children are involved,
divorce is the ultimate game of tug of war.
No matter how hard you try, or how many times you give it over to God,
there is a constant inner struggle for the desire of your child’s loyalty and
favor. When you only get to see your
precious one Thursday nights and every other weekend, you long to be the winner
on occasion.
With Halloween, we have officially entered the competition
season. It is closely followed by
birthday and Christmas in our home, and nothing brings out the desire to win
your child’s affection quite like those holidays.
It isn’t always a conscious battle. Sometimes it sneaks up on you in subtle ways
as your child begins listing her birthday and Christmas wishes. You begin to think about the budget and the
gifts and the all important question of the mother’s gift plans.
And that is a rabbit hole that will cause you madness beyond any un-birthday
tea party.
It is the beginning of wondering if your gift is good
enough. If your love is good
enough. If you are good enough.
This past weekend of birthday, we chose to purchase within
the budget and within what we considered reasonable and appropriate for our
family. We provided a great birthday
weekend and celebration. But we knew
that we had not purchased the most desired gift.
After hearing about the mom’s birthday gift tonight, we knew
our girl had gotten the really big thing.
I asked Matt how he felt about that.
He said, “It’s just the way it is.
We do something while mom waits and does something bigger.”
That made me sad.
Until he went on to say this, “But what we are giving her is what she
needs most. And I’m comfortable with
that.”
He wasn’t referring to our birthday gift but to our
family. And he is right. If we ever are going to “win,” I want it to
be a win of heart. Of family. Of boundaries. Of stability and consistency. Of a Christ centered home. Of unconditional love.
1 comment:
You have a very wise man.
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