Give and Take

            Occasionally, I am presented with an opportunity to give that I cannot pass.  I’ve decided that the more I look for these opportunities, the more I am presented with them.  Or maybe it’s that the more I take the opportunity, the more I notice.  Some would say it’s a spiritual leading, and I’m comfortable with that.  Regardless of where the nudge comes from or why, I’ve found that answering is always rewarding…to me.

            This year I’ve had an opportunity to invest in my friend Allison.  She has made two trips to Africa to visit and work in orphanages.  There is an enthusiasm and passion about the way she talks about the kids she meets that is irresistible.  I think part of the draw for me is that she sponsors kids in addition to visiting.  But more, she never forgets those kids.  She has developed relationships with people who live and work there in order to serve better.  I have absolutely no desire to go to Africa.  But I’m glad she does.  And I feel blessed to be able to help her.

            Allison also works with St. Jude’s hospital.  She and a team of friends do the walk every year in support of various kids.  It’s a free hospital.  It’s a great cause.  But I can’t resist sponsoring her because of completely different reasons.  She has taught her daughter the importance of giving and helping others.  And this year, Allison’s daughter is crazy excited that she gets to walk too.  How can I not support that enthusiasm?

            Then there is school.  There are always opportunities to support causes at schools.  I’ve picked up a “Senior” (elderly person) from one of our student organization’s angel tree that I need to shop for this afternoon.  I have no idea why I couldn’t pass this one up; it’s not like I needed another person to shop for, but for some reason, I had to pick up a Senior Angel.

            About five minutes ago, I bought raffle tickets for another cause.  It’s a group that provides an after school learning program for our high school kids.  It goes straight to my kids.  For kids who need a safe place.  And they learn cooking, sewing, social skills, study skills, and lots of other things.  It’s like an extension of what the counseling program is about, how can I resist?

            One of the teachers at my school who is an only child, lost his dad this weekend.  He had to make an emergency trip across the country to make arrangements.  His wife and kids had to stay here because one of his kids has a serious illness that requires regular hospital visits and stays.  As a result, they are strapped financially.  I can’t imagine being in this situation.  I only learned about it recently when I also discovered that I’d gone to college with and knew his wife.  When someone from his department asked, how could I not help?

            Writing is processing for me, and as I’m sitting here writing this, I think I know why I have to respond to these types of opportunities.

            When I was in 8^th grade, my dad was diagnosed with leukemia.  There were four kids in my family, two in high school, one in junior high, and a toddler.  Mom was home with John running a day care.  Money was really tight.  But we were taken care of.

            A teacher from my dad’s school, Pasadena High School, was my dad’s summer school substitute and never took a dime for sub pay.

            One of the Assistant Principals there gave Dad something like $100 from every one of her pay checks. 

            During a particularly long hospital stay, an old friend from Michigan came down and helped me run the day care while Mom stayed at the hospital with Dad. 

            When he was super sick, he would teach the first part of class then lay down on a cot in the office next door while one of the other math teacher’s monitored class work during his/her conference period.

            The people I babysat for knew I wanted to go to a workshop in Abilene for Bible class teachers with a group from church, so they paid for me to go.  In fact, they made that trip happen in minutes before I went home one night from sitting with their boys, and I left the next morning.

            People would shake my mom’s hand at church and leave bills of all sorts of denomination behind. 

            After Dad passed, someone paid to fly my brother home from Arkansas.  Someone else paid the rest of his college tuition that semester.  The church paid off our van.  People brought us food.

            When I moved out a year and a half ago, one of my friends walked by my side every step of the way.  She helped me figure out my finances.  She helped me find a place to live where I would be safe.  She loved me without judgment.  She loaned me her children for hugs.

            When my mom heard, she got in the car and drove 11 hours to help me move.  She didn’t know details but she knew ME.  She stayed at my apartment and unpacked and organized me while I went to work.  She bought me a mop and a tool kit and lots of other little things to make me more comfortable.  Mostly she loved me.

            Another of my friends came over with bags of groceries to stock my refrigerator, freezer, and pantry.  She also brought me a television which I’m still using.  And she let me do laundry at her house for almost a year, insisting that I not bring my own detergent.  During our laundry/study sessions, she listened for hours.  Today, she called and sang, “I Just Called To Say I Love You” on my voice mail.

            A stranger with whom I have a mutual friend gave me a washer and dryer to use the last few months in Amarillo. 

            I know what it means to be given gifts when you least expect it and never dream to even ask.  I have been given many, many gifts in my life.

            It isn’t always comfortable to take help when it is offered.  Sometimes it’s downright painful.  My mom used to say that when you don’t allow others to help you when you are in need that you are robbing them of the opportunity to serve.  I think she is right.

            She has something else to say about giving.  She once bought someone glasses and then shared this with me from Proverbs, “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.”

            I think we NEED to give of ourselves and help others.  I think it is essential to our personal growth.  Life is not all about “me”.  It’s good for me when Allison reminds me that there are millions of orphans who need help.  It’s good when community needs are brought to my attention at school.  It’s really good when I can pay forward to a coworker what was done for my family.  And I didn’t write all of that to toot my own horn.  It’s not about that at all.  It’s about recognizing the fact that we have as much need to give as we sometimes have to receive.

            I think it’s good for you too.  If you can’t give of your money, give of your time.  I’ve been doing some tutoring here recently that I’m convinced is far more rewarding for me than my “students”.

            I understand the need to circle the wagons and focus inward for a time.  I’ve been there before.  But sometimes, when circling is the temptation, I think we are better off looking out.  There are always so many others who have it worse.  There is always something we can give.  And sometimes the thing that is most fulfilling to us, is pouring into others.